History – Part 3: The Project

It was now October 2008. I was full of eager anticiaptation of what was in store both professionally and personally. It was so good to be rid of The UPS Store. My business partner and I had formed a new dba and I was excited about the new focus on our graphic design clients within the health care industry. Movie making was in the back of my mind and I was just beginning to embrace the excitment in this new direction as well. Things were rolling along smoothly at the new office, or so I thought. Early in October my business partner shared his desire to leave the business. A part of me had expected this, yet I was still shocked and hurt. I wanted what was best for him and his family, and he had an offer on the table that would certainly prove to meet those requirements. Still, this was a new, yet familiar wound. He and I had a great relationship — so much more than just business partners, more than friends. We had joked that our partnership was more like a marriage in many ways. For me, it was the third divorce in my life: first, the loss of my Dad and the family I had known when I was eleven; then the seperation and divorce a few years back that shook me to the core, yet saved my life. Now, the third divorce was here and it brought back pain and the self-doubt of the previous traumas. There was a huge part of me that understood and wanted to be supportive. There was also some fear. I tried not to focus on the sadness of the loss, and even as we had the “talk”, I related that perhaps God was pulling me in the direction of filmmaking and that this split may allow me to better pursue this dream. As I look back, I can hardly believe those words came out of my mouth. “What would my future now be like?  What was the plan?”  While I was clueless about filmmaking, I had proven assurance that He was in charge and He always had a plan and would somehow lead me towards His will.

With this new “challange” I began to pray more earnestly about the direction of the business and remembering a favorite childhood story, repeated the words of Samuel while with Eli in the temple, “Here I am, Lord.  Your servant’s listening.”  Where He lead, I would go.

I immediately began to plan a trip to So Cal to visit with existing clients and see what I could do to add a few new clients as well. I planned a 12 day trip and headed out with a handful of business cards and several appointments. As so often is the case on my California trips, I scheduled my meals around meeting with friends, and in this case, friends that may turn into future clients. Over the next few days I met with several schoolmates now working within the healthcare industry in an attempt to drum up some new business. We talked shop, but also shared our personal lives, our journey, our faith and our hearts. As the trip progressed, it became apparent that this was not the business trip I had envision. For you see, God had different plans. After meeting with half-a-dozen friends and hearing the same statements (literally, word-for-word) pour out deep from within their souls, I was convinced that He was in control, that His plan would be revealed and that I was to simply meet, listen, and remember.

It was at a Switchfoot concert with many dear friends from the past that the Spirit began to quietly whisper in my ear and paint a picture.  I watched a group of young girls (about Jr. Hi. age) a row in front of me sing the words to songs that they certainly couldn’t truly understand the meaning of, songs of life’s lessons, knocks and blessings put into perspective.  The words and pharses spoken by those classmates from earlier in the week began to knit themselves together and formed a blanket of knots represtative of the struggles and understanding each had gone through.  To a person, I began to see the overlap and commonality they related as they struggled to find and develop a real relationship with God in their own way outside of the cookie cutter path learned growing up within Adventism.  Many had found this relationship outside of the demonimation of our childhood.  My eyes began to fill with tears as I felt that blanket of shared experience slowly wrap itself around my shoulders.  I now had a vision of the project I was to work on, the project that I was given, the cause and questions that needed to be asked and addressed.

I left Southern California with a repsonse to my Samuel prayer and a desire to see His will through.  I was excited and this trip changed my life in many ways.  I embraced a new hope and a new future…

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'” 

~ Jeremiah 29:11

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